Canvas Thee Thoughts - Hope To Hold

“Oh God!!!What time is it now?” Finally me waking up. My heads seems to be still in the cloud as I felt kind of groggy and listless. I grab my phone just to look at the time and it’s almost 11am. I sat up on the bed for a while as my mind begins to recall my late sweet date with Ezra. It was simple coffee cookie date, just right at our garden. I knew Ezra mean so much to me now. And I promise myself, despite whatever outcomes or obstacles bound to spike us, I will stay committed and faithful to his love.

“Today is the day..” I thought to myself with a smile beaming on my face. I pushed my blanket off from my legs and quickly tidy up my bed. “Few hours more before our big day Ezra..”

After showering, I decided to head towards the kitchen to prep ourselves a brunch. As I amble towards the kitchen, my heart begins to feel something was kind of a miss. Our home seems to be too quiet. The windows was kept close and the curtains was not drawn open. Because usually Ezra will be the one that will open up all the windows and curtains as he simply loves the airy breezy feels surrounding our crib.

I crept slowly towards Ezra’s room. Strangely the door was wide open. “Ezra..” I muttered. His room was empty. The worst fear sets in my heart, Ezra had chosen his path.. of not wanting to uphold our hopes and dreams. He left…

Tears of heartbreak and disappointment begins to form in my eyes. 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. In a brief moment, I swiftly wipe the tears of my eyes as I walk towards the door to check who was it.

It was Habil looking as distraught as I am. He knew it..On the other hand 1 believe.. wanting so much to believe Ezra will be with him. But Habil came alone. “ He wants you to have this..” said Habil as he passed an envelope.

I took it and sank down by the couch which laying next beside me. Habil came along and sat next to me.

“Where’s my dad?”

“He’s resting at this moment. He’s good ..”

I nodded my head as I begin to open up the envelope and drew out a letter from it.

“Reem, please forgive me. I thought I’m strong enough to hold on to our love, dreams and hope but I lack the courage to face it all. I will never blame you for hating me now.. I believe you will find true love that’s forever and eternal. Keep me in your prayers Reem but do move on from our fallen dreams.”

“Habil, please tell me.. where is he??” I cried frantically as I clutch on to Habil’s arm as hard as I possibly could.

“I’m sorry Reem.. I wish I knew but I don’t..”

“Why didn’t you stop him from leaving .. why? Why?” I cried tearfully sobbing uncontrollably. “Whyyy”

Habil took me in his arms and held on to me. As gently as he could, he runs his finger on the back of my head.

Taking orders was a brief matter to me now. Even though Ezra was not present to be dealing and countering his florist ventures, I’m willing to take over..for one thing I just want to be part of it, part of him. He might not be present but it seems his spirit do. I wouldn’t want to think the worst could have happened to Ezra although he had left us for almost three months now. I know, I just know Habil was keeping a deep secret from me. He fathoms Ezra whereabout. No matter how much I’ve tried persuading him to disclose Ezra’s site, he just remain dumbfounded. Brothers will be brothers and I respected that. Anger and sadness do consume me during the first few weeks of Ezra’s sudden absconding. I blame myself for everything that happened. However throughout my forsaken canvas, my dad was with me, witnessing my breaking tears and ordeals. 

Habil had said these, “ Reem, didn’t you realise.. this is a silver lining laid upon you.. your chance to know more about Ariel..your dad needs you too, to be there for him. You do need him too.. I’m sure of it..”

“I’m not strong enough..”

“That’s what your mindset telling you but not your heart.. you’ve been through worst shit before and this is nothing Reem.” Upon hearing those words, a fresh sense of raging courage burns me.

“Yeah.. this is nothing.. I’ve been alone before but now I’ve got someone, that I can call my own.. my dad.”