Canvas Thee Thoughts - Fallen Carousel

Canvas Thee Thoughts - Fallen carousel 

Much to my abhorrent guts, Ezra did came over that night, just before I've decide to make my way to the hospital to visit Leia. His persistent anguish statement, of me being irresponsible for not presenting myself during those final papers had indeed infuse some form of regrets and anger deep within my soul. 

"By the way, where the hell have you been the whole yesterday night?" Suddenly I snapped furiously.

"Studying of course..." state Ezra firmly. "At least I did came to seat for those papers...unlike someone who decides to be so ignorant and irresponsible as to go missing...." Mark Ezra. 

"Something happen to Leia..." I said grimly.

Ezra amble briskly towards the fridge as he place his unfinished tub of that peppermint ice cream back inside the freezer. Makes me wonder by now, did he actually heard my words or was he just playing ignorant plot with me. And true enough, he's seems not bothered at all...much to my annoyance, as he decides to march off towards his room.

"She said.... it wasn't you ..." I mutters with a sighed.

"Leia deserve to be plunder with this ordeal..." barked Ezra sharply. 

"Come on Ezra, Leia is facing her credits now.. " I rant furiously while praying that Habil won't be heading down towards the kitchen at this frantic moment.

"She's such an exhaustion to my life.." state Ezra shortly. "If she would just shut the hell up, I wouldn't have ..." paused Ezra and then he turn his sight away from me.

"Did you hurt Leia?" I asked coldly.

"She pushed me to the extreme, barking at me with those filthy words from her foul mouth.." state Ezra with raging tears embedded in his eyes.

I remained silent, as I clenched both my first tightly close by my side, while anticipating more definitions from him.

"I.....I just told her to hang herself and be dead.." marked Ezra sorrowfully. "I swear I didn't meant what I said.. but she took those words so intensely.." paused Ezra as he heave with a deep sigh of guilt. "Things was getting out of hands when she jumped at me, hitting and slapping me ... and she knew I bound to loose my senses but she just wouldn't want to stop.." state Ezra gravely. "I grab both her arms and then she kicks my shin .. upon that sheer moment of pain and confusion, I pushed her hard towards that table. I knew.. it's a grievous mistake but I just walk away.. not wanting to look back.." said Ezra with tears running down his face.

"She's not only had lost her baby, but she's lost everything.." I marked grimly. "I do not have to explain to you any further, about her surgery and all, cause I'm sure, you have read those messages which I've sent you earlier on..." I sighed with a frown knotted in my mind.

Ezra turn his teary self towards me in disbelief. Whirlwind deep within my soul, my nerve begin to ransack that sentiment of empathy towards Ezra. I just can't blame him anymore, whatever happened to Leia, it can't be totally his fault. Furthermore that child which Leia bore wasn't even his.

"Do you know who's child it was then?" I asked.

Ezra shake his head with doubtful note mark upon his face. "I swear, I didn't meant to hurt her and cause a bleak future for the rest of her life.."

"You can undo all those things Ezra ..." Ezra had his eyes stare intensely towards me. "Be responsible.." I said notably.

"To forsake what I used to have?" State Ezra as he came closer towards me.

I nodded. "Forget about our past..even though it might be unfair to you..." I said as I move away from him. My hand was tugged and then I was pulled closer to his form. "Ezra.. just please.." but without seconds thoughts, he had his lips upon mine with both his arms wrapped closely all around me. The weakness which I've felt for him has begun to spill in spiral notion of uncertainty. This is definitely a big mistake if I were to falter and give in to this unspeakable desire. Been embrace with his profound form and not forgetting my long lost of wanting to be wanted...it's sure such an incredible feelings.

Beyond that misty moment, suddenly my eyes caught upon Habil, rushing down the stairs. In that split moment, I quickly pulled myself away from Ezra's arm. 

"Reem, your dad..." marked Habil with tight worrisome note marks in his almond shape eyes.

Without second thoughts, I amble quickly up the stairs dashing straight to my father's bedroom, followed both by Habil and Ezra. Freda came in last, probably Habil must have took his chance to look her up. My tattered guts seems to be hanging loosely upon my spirit, as I knew I'm loosing my father way to soon.