Canvas Thee Thoughts - Pulsing Faith

Canvas Thee Thoughts - Pulsing Guts

"Reem...Reem..." That persistent yelling. I knew Leia was in desperation calling out to my senses, to transit back to reality. "Reem please...."

Suddenly, I felt awaken but with a shocking notion. When upon that arisen moment, I  begin to realise that I was clenching the huge shower head tightly by my side and I was standing just few inches close next to tearful Leia. "What was I thinking?" Rant my inner voice of fear. And upon that sheering moment, I let the shower head slipped off from my fingers and upon that awakening gait, I took my steps further away from Leia with a frightening note embarking my soul.

"Reem ..." moan Leia in such ailing form.

"I will go get help..." I mutters as I managed to compose my thoughts and called for an ambulance. "My dad?" Cried my inner voice."Darn" Upon that sentiment, I seems to be left with no other choice, but to call Habil.

"Hello..." mutters Habil.

"I need you to come over to my home immediately ..." I said, hoping he would not sense the anguish and desperation note from the tone of my voice.

"All right...." he respond and without saying anything, he shuts his phone. I was kind of stunned and my thoughts begin to reel upon the canvas of negativity. Was he upset with me or did I actually had bothered him with my non intentional desperate measures? I shake my head lightly as my vibes range back upon Leia. Without wasting anymore time, I quickly call for an ambulance as I fled back towards the bathroom.

Leia was already in subconscious state as cold perspiration had form and both her palms were cold and clammy. My spirit begins to deter fear, as I held Leia close to my side. "Hang on.." I utters glumly.

"It wasn't Ezra ... " rant Leia frantically as she grip upon my arms firmly and suddenly in that split moment, she lost her consciousness.

It seems to take forever when finally a medical officer came towards me with a solemn look clearly written on her face. Deep within my soul, I know this isn't good.

"I'm so sorry Miss Reem, an emergency surgery need to be done to save your sister's life..." she marked with a distinct note of urgency.

" What kind of surgery?" I asked anxiously.

 "Radical hysterectomy..." she state leaving me looking kind of lost as I was totally unknown of what that surgery was about. "It's a complete removal of the uterus.." she explain shortly.

"That means Leia won't be able to have another child of her own?" I asked sorrowfully. I don't know why, despite I've been kind of growing up with her, in such spiteful manner, which both she and her mum had flourish me with, but somehow or rather, I begin to feel kind of emotionally dampen, I feel sorry for her and I feel a tinge sense of care or even love for her.

She nodded her head grimly as she took a form in her hand and place them in between my palms. "Leia is unconscious and I'm afraid she might have slip into a coma due to septic shock.. therefore getting her to sign this consent form is impossible now."

I took the form as I tries to maintain my composure to consolidate my thoughts and my guts. "We've got to wait for her mum and him.." I mutters as I fought hard not to let my tears fall.

"Please don't wait for too Long, or we could eventually jeopardise her life .." she warned and then she took her pace and headed back straight towards Leia's observation ward.

Upon that frantic notion I begin to call and sending lots of messengers to Ezra, hoping that he would just pick up my call and read at least one of my messages. However, to my disdain he simply shut himself off. And Freda, it was hopeless since she's block me off from her contact lists, therefore there's not much I could do either. I held the consent form close to my side as I walked towards the awaiting seats that was situated close by the main lift lobby. I withheld my tears as I sign the form and place it upon the nursing station. And without turning back, I took my pace and leave.

Dawn is catching up too soon, much to my anguish as I knew, I will definitely be not able to presence myself for today's final paper. Throughout my journey in the cab, my thoughts was whirling and twisting with jabbing guilt and self blaming. If only, I could retreat back those flaws attitude of mine, Habil would not have left and time would not have been wasted. Who knows I could even have few minutes to read through those last few chapters of my summaries notes. The agonising fatigue has finally encore deep within my being, much to my dismay.

As I was stumbling with tiredness while I was walking closer towards the front door, suddenly my phone rang. And to my anger, it was Ezra. "I'm not coming for today's paper..." I snapped before I shut his call off. Few more ringings and messengers came rushing through my phone but I just couldn't be bothered anymore...

Still feeling uptight with unleash anger and disappointment, I fret just before I could actually enters my home. With mix cocktail of confusion, somehow or rather I plunge courage back into my spirit as I enters the living room and there stood Habil looking remorsefully towards me.

I just can't contain my tears any longer when suddenly I begin to sob uncontrollably. Habil came closer towards me, and held me close in his arms.

"I'm so tired.... " I mutters with trembling note staining the canvas of my thoughts.

Habil remain unspoken, but he held on to my crumbling form, gently caressing my hair and lightly touching the back of my neck. His touch and his presence had actually, remarkably infused some sort of enlightenment strength and courage upon my soul. I just wanted to hang on to his touch but upon that sheer moment, I withdrew myself away from him. However, he had continue to held on to my hands and bring them close to his chest. He bring himself closer towards me, as he lightly touches my face and had his lips brushes next to mine. I closed my eyes just wanting him to undo me more, much to my repulsing guts, when suddenly Ezra came flashing in my thoughts. In that split notion, I pushed myself away from Habil. 

"Please forgive me..." mark Habil regretfully.

I bring my palm and gently place it upon the side of his face. "Thank you.." I said and then I walk towards the stairs and headed down towards the basement back to my room.